I must say that getting to play golf with "The Most Interesting Man in the World" was an experience I will never forget. I have tried to capture some thoughts that passed through my feeble brain to express the Wonder and Awe that only a man of your greatness could inspire:
If there was an interesting gland, yours would be larger than most men's lower intestine!
Even your parrot has advice that is insightful.
You once called a wrong number and even the person at the other end would not even admit it.
Your charisma is so great you can see it from space.
If a monument was built in your honor, Mount Rushmore would close due to poor attendance.
You once taught a German Sheppard to bark in Spanish.
You have never lost a sock!
The police often question you because they find you so interesting.
If ever given the chance to wash your Undywear, I would consider it an honor!
Macos, you forgot a few:
He lives vicariously through himself.
He once taught a German shepherd to bark in Spanish.
He never says something tastes like chicken Ė not even chicken.
Heís been known to cure narcolepsy, just by walking into a room.
He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.
His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser manís entire body.
Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number.
Heís a lover, not a fighter, but heís also a fighter, so donít get any ideas.
When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad.
His shirts never wrinkle.
He is left-handed. And right-handed.
If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
He has amassed an incredibly large DVD library, and it is said that he never once alphabetized it.
You can see his charisma from space.
The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
He once punched a magician. Thatís right. You heard me.
If a monument were built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would closeÖ due to poor attendance.
His blood smells like cologne.
His organ donation card also lists his beard.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after him.
He doesnít believe in using oven mitts, nor potholders.
His reputation is expanding faster than the universe.
His cereal never gets soggy. It sits there, staying crispy, just for him.
The pheromones he secretes have been known to affect people miles away, in a slight but measurable way.
His hands feel like rich brown suede.
He owns three sports cars and rents five.
He once taught a horse to read email for him.
He once brought in $13 million at a charity bachelor auction, which was a lot of money at the time.
Respected archaeologists fight over his discarded apple cores.
He is the most interesting man in the world.