TRIAL OF THE
MILLENNIUM
ABSENTEE VOTES
Trial of the Millennium in Pictures
GUILTY
I saw the big fellow steal the belt with my own eyes. After attempting to buy my silence, I observed him empty your medicine cabinet of Percocet, steal a pair of Sally's underwear, and take several pieces of your best China. Bored with larceny, the portly criminal was seen exposing himself to your horrified neighbor's daughter, and then had the temerity to purchase kiddie porn from me with a bad check. Those pictures of my daughter are worth real money! In short Jammer is a one man crime wave who deserves to spend dick-up-the- butt time in prison.
Doogie
GUILTY
“I
vote guilty as charged on all counts with a recommendation for no mercy!”
Binky
GUILTY
“If
I were Jammer’s lawyer, I’d have him eat the belt. One can’t convict
without evidence. Sort of a habeas beltus affair.”
Bob
GUILTY
“I
suggest death by electrocution (Macos and I can figure it out), with one Big
Mother cocktail before execution.”
GUILTY
“I
eagerly await the prescribed date to string up the perpetrator of this heinous
theft.”
Dick
“Give it a Lick” DeCoux
GUILTY
“The
sleaziest person I’ve ever known!”
Frank
“Rico” Rivara
GUILTY
“Jammer
is guilty because his crap is weak.
I demand he receive the maximum sentence allowed under Hog Law!”
Frank
“Fat Farmer” Weeks
GUILTY
“I
hope they find a rope thick enough to hang that fat bastard!!!”
Greg Bentz
GUILTY
“Down
here in North Carolina we’d tie him to a whippin’ post and make him squeal
like a pig!!”
Lowell
Parker
GUILTY
“We
in the Netherlands are very tolerant people, but there can be no forgiveness for
stealing the Belt.
I don’t even have to see the evidence to know Jammer is guilty.”
Marianne
Charlton
The Hag from the Hague
“I
can understand lust, but the heinous crimes of theft, kidnapping and extortion
cannot go unpunished!”
Pat
Champi