Nixon Belt & HHOF Collusion Exposed
B
ombshell


Hog Correspondent Areno

 


First we heard about the volcanic eruption in Hawaii. Then the explosive eruption in Guatemala. But nothing compares to the Bombshell breaking news in Hog World!!  Nixon is being accused of 'Collusion' in his successful efforts to be awarded the 2017 Hogs Open Belt and his current attempt to enter the Hogs Hall of Fame as part of the 2018 class.  


Colluder?

Areno, who has known Nixon since he was in the 1st grade, has always been suspicious of the Belts award selections. Areno's (next year he'll get a life) impression of Nixon has always been 'he's an ass kisser, not a colluder'. The 'Cocky with Moxie' Macos always had control over the award presentation but not since the Jammer, 'I'm a cheater, not a liar' winner has there been such a controversy.


Cheater, Not a Liar

Is it too much to ask to see the signed score card to put these allegations to rest? Somehow it is not available or worse,  was it erased?  So now the whole process of the belt winner selection is suspect like never before.  Granted, just because Nixon's knees were grass-stained does not necessarily lead to the conclusion that there was some kind of quid pro quo to win the belt.


Grass-Stained Knees

But now the investigation must go deeper to include the HHOF induction.  Was there an exchange of money, drugs, or sex? Of course!!  What other conclusion can the investigators come up with? Undisclosed sources have asserted that bribes may have been accepted by the Hog Hierarchy to advance Nixon's cause. As of now, drugs seem to be the preferred exchange after the bitcoin currency was ruled out.  Zip's desk in the front office has always displayed the plaque 'I can be bought'.  We had always thought that was a joke. Oh, the truth in jest!


Can Be Bought

Both Macos and Zip have hired the services of renowned attorney F. Lee Saltzman to defend them in this case. Julie Annie was too busy.


Renowned Attorney                         Too Busy            

The front office is blaming the Deep State for these rumors. But the question remains why was such a mediocre player was selected from the 2018 ballot in the first place when so many others were more qualified? Especially the original older Hogs.  


More Qualified Hall of Fame Candidates

The only web page contributors are unfortunately the Zip and Macos duo...Hog News if you will... and have immediately attacked the liberal press and claim all entries for the ballot were legitimate.


Hog News Duo

Of course!! But the allegations are about the results of the voting just like the criteria on which the belt was awarded.  An independent investigation is being called for. Is there a smoking gun? (or reefer...) just sayin'. Is Hog News changing the narrative again?

 

Booch was quoted as saying

"I hope this peg-legged porker doesn't diminish the entire 2018 HHOF class'.


Peg-Legged Porker

Other teammates were reluctant to come forward and be quoted for this article but the whispers were there.

"I always wondered what he was doing on the team in the first place"
"Were the Hogs that desperate?"
"Why wasn't he criticized for getting the Hogs kicked out of The Stables? Where was the outrage from the front office?"

'F... Nixon' was the most popular refrain from most of the softball players. Or perhaps there was collusion as the rumors claim and continue to persist! How could Jeff 'The Foghorn' Nixon's reputation be tarnished any more with such a muddied background, lack of character, and civic stature they ask. Stormy has more street cred (and better tits).


More Street Cred
(And Better Tits)

With this weeks 39th annual Hogs Open on the schedule, (Fri. 6/15) Zip and Macos are claiming that these allegations are a deliberate distraction to prevent them from hosting our yearly crowned event and prevent them from garnering all the attention that goes with it.

Their final remarks... 'No collusion, No collusion, No collusion...Make the Hogs Great Again!! '

 
Areno #14
HHOF
MVH
Hog Correspondent
 

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