Let us first set the record straight on Dr. Cocksucker's blowing prowess. Although he claims to be a Heroic Whistle Blower, the record shows he's more like a Heroic Whistle Wetter. He has wet his whistle on more skin flutes, tonsil ticklers, custard launchers, beef bayonets and baloney ponies than any whistles. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)
Somehow this fudge packing, backdoor Barney, who has an overt fondness for the darkest recesses of the human body, has found the gall to besmirch someone who has dedicated his life to keeping the lights on for others.
Now don't get me wrong, there is a need in this world for people that can extract small rodents, eels, snakes and a variety of inert objects for the rectums of those unfortunates that have packed their pooper a little too tightly.
But let us not make heroes out of them. The truth be told he is more deserving of a golden shower than any accolades.
I, for one, say it is time to put this gerbil back in the hole he came from.
Be gone Urine Crotchobitch!