Maybe this year we can cut out inviting some of the assholes that always fuck things up. Shane and Vrobel - the goddamn Canuck and his bald bitch boy, who need them?
Goddamn Canuck and His Bald Bitch Boy?
Z-man, who needs another friggin' hippie?
Vince is still working off a close call with a DUI. He won't even drive a golf cart unless he's sober.
Doodle has been kicked out of the Masters so many times, he has been declared a menace to all strippers!
Menace to Strippers?
F. Lee deserves to come only if he is forced to golf every day with that bastard Judge Jimmy who would screw his grandmother to claim he had the longest drive.
Would Screw His Grandmother?
Fuckin' Bitty can't come until he gets that sex change operation he keeps talking about. (By the way if an asshole like Bitty gets a sex change, does he become a cunt and do we need to call him Fuckee Bitty?)
Headed for a Sex Change?
The bullshit chairman can go fuck himself for all I care for missing the 25th anniversary last year.
Can Go Fuck Himself?
McVeigh can't come until he finds a cure for that constipation he can't seem to shake.
Maco ain't got enough balls to show up, he left them all at the gator hole on the 18th at Calendonia last time we played there.
Has No Balls?
Dick DeCoux can't come until he dumps that faggie French name. I suggest Scrotum J' Tbag as an alternative.
Scrotum J' Tbag?
If I hear Kat whine one more time about how Bag crippled his knee, I will take out his one good leg myself.
Knee Crippled by Bag?
Steve Edwards is automatically not invited since he is associated with that sleazy Slim Shady Dennis James.
Associated With Sleaze?
Booze has his head so far up his ass, he now can only drink scotch via an enema.
Head Up His Ass?
Zip has migrated into child pornography.
Areno has become a crotchety old man.
Crotchety Old Man?
And Wendell has turned to his old ways once he found out that his cabinet shop made more money once he turned it into marijuana hot house.
Turned to His Old Ways?
2007 Myrtle Beach Group?