WE WANT AN ARTICLE
WE WANT AN ARTICLE
By Dave MacFarland
and Tom Sommers - April 1991
Todd Shaner
Sports
Editor-Evening Phoenix
Dear Todd,
I bumped
into Al Lewis at Cooperstown last week. He was telling me of his plans to write
an article for the Sporting News on the 1991 Stables Hogs. It reminded me of how
disappointed I have been with your lack of coverage of the Hogs. I am enclosing
a copy of our 1991 contract and Encyclopedia in hopes that this will help you
appreciate the Hogs legendary stature.
You would
think a team of such notoriety could command a little more attention from the
Fourth Estate of their local community. Here we are about to begin our twelfth
year of "softball excellence" without one feature article from
Northeast Chester County's finest newspaper. (I don't even consider that poor
excuse for journalism Mercury a newspaper.) One could only wonder why a
journalist of your caliber would repeatedly pass up an opportunity to write an
article that could produce a Pulitzer and vault him to national prominence that
the New York Times would be breaking down his door. The answer can only be that
you are trying to protect Phoenixville's little gem of the softball community
from the inevitable flood of Hollywood agents, and movie contracts (Bad News
Hogs, Field of Hogs, Eight Hogs Out). I must tell you Todd that the Hogs are
ready to bask in the glory that only your gifted pen could bring them. If the
most comprehensive compellation of statistical minutia is not enough to stir
your creative juices, I would invite you to study the exhaustive Hog video
library which includes such great hits as the Championship Season (1985), The
Hogs Open Celebrity Golf Tournament (1990), The Hogs Awards Banquet (1990), et.
al.
Hell, a team
whose average age is almost 40 can only have so many city series campaigns mired
in mediocrity left in their arthritic old legs. Sooner or later their spouses
are going to catch on that this poor excuse for exercise is really a guise for
middle age male bonding debauchery.
Todd, how
long can you deprive yourself of a Hogs encounter? Surely the thought of meeting
a Pung, Eggs or the legendary Areno must pique your journalistic interests.
Learn the secret of why every team member has the number 14 on their jersey.
Embroil yourself in the Hog of the Decade controversy. Appreciate the team's
subtle strategy for staying out of the "A" league.
Don't delay
any longer. Come and enjoy the fantasy, the mystique and the lore that is the
Hog Experience.
T. Sommers
Coach &
General Manager
Stables Hogs