Big Deal
I can't get a foursome to play golf in the Belt Thief Open. That's either
cause nobody believes I'm the Belt Thief or cause the only prizes worth anything
were the 6-pack of cheap beer and the same picture of Amy that's on the web
page. Nobody cares about the insta-belt with letters that are peeling
all over my van. I don't know who I pissed off enough to send me this
litter maker but its a good thing my van is gold or the cheap gold paint the the
"Master Belt Maker" used would surely have ruined my carpet. Fortunately,
it has given my carpet new life.
Seriously, I don't know about you but I'm getting really bored reading about
belts. Can't you guys write about something more interesting? Are
your lives really that empty? What about science project you made in 10th
Grade or the first time you asked out a member of the opposite sex or it's
sequel, 20 years later, the first time you went out with a woman. OOPS
that was your wedding day, I forgot. How about "Macos' guide to
lovemaking" or its alternate title, "How Macos makes the most
of his time alone".
Why not change the character's in your sorry attempts to entertain. Even
I'm bored with me and I know how wonderful I am. If you want to talk about
Theta Chi's why not talk about Phil Moll who shows up once every twenty
years but looks like he did twenty years ago. Tell me he hasn't been
abducted by aliens and impregnated. How about Wendell who probably is
the real belt thief, but isn't allowed out to enjoy it. How about
Areno, who is has been sitting in the background for decades letting
everyone else provide the entertainment. You'd think by now, Michael's
Deli would be sponsoring the Hogs. What about that Fat F...in' Farmer
Fweeks who sends everyone viruses with his computer cause he don't know how to
plow thru the keyboard. I don't know about you but I was really surprised
to learn that Janie wasn't a sheep. Speaking of the super-whipped what
about C-Baggs. Surely there's some material there not to mention Rico,
the closest thing to a mafia Don Drexel has ever seen or DuLang, the
first human to use a tennis racket as an extrusion device or Marty, now
there's enough material about Marty alone to cause anyone to give up health food
for life. I haven't even started on the Sigma Pi's, but how about Gotch
or Kat or Doodle, talk about society's fringe. Anyway, I could go on
and on but you get the picture, change direction, do something interesting and
I'll send you back your sorry ass belt.
PS: I didn't take the first one.
Webmaster comments: I agree with Jammer's
points including the following:
1. Jammer is boring.
2. The new belt is a piece of crap made by a masturbator,
not a master belt maker.
3. Maybe Wendell took the first belt, but if
it's not Jammer I'm guessing Areno.