Frito Bandito

Frito Bandito's Reply 

Doogie,

I have always wondered why I hated you so much, now I fully understand.  Your cheap ethnic slurs of my ethnic background are typical of chardonnay sipping liberals.  Just because a man has a swarthy tone to his skin, you throw us all into that pool of “brown skins” with whom you are too good to associate.  Unlike you, I am proud of my Latino heritage.  You are nothing more than an anti-Semite Semite.

Uncle Cheggs Guevara

I suppose it does not shame you that many of my family members have given up their lives over the years picking the very carcinogenic, pesticide-laden grapes that you so casually sip by your heated pool.  It was this cause that lead my Uncle Cheggs Guevara, after whom I am named, to become a left-wing revolutionary fighting against the chardonnay-sipping elitists who pick and choose their principles like they pick their wines.  Go ahead and throw the empty bottles in the bushes while you wallow in your ritualistic, pre-work, drunken, poolside stupor!   My “Uncle Pedro” will be by to fluff the mulch and pick up your waste.   Head off to Grandview with your drunken foul breath where you can pick and choose who will live and die in your emergency room based on who has health insurance and who does not. 

 
Uncle Pedro

Yes, I may have a bloodline that lies south of the border, but I have the dignity to embrace my heritage.  I am sure that Larry Fine would be proud to know that his son grew up to be a bigger stooge in real life than he was on the small screen.

           
Stooge for a Father, Stooge for a Son

Eggs