Noel,

You are partially correct. The Jane was Jane Gerber and she was showing off her latest invention which she calls The Belt Bra. Modeled after that famous Hogs Open treasure, this one features that famous lifting style for those full figured girls. What makes this one special is Jane’s new Anti-Grope nipple protectors. Says Jane, “A girl can never be too careful when Zip’s at a party!”

Thanks for the Mammories!

Ricky,

There were more than a few folliclely challenged individuals fighting for the Kojak award. Dave “The Rave” McCaslin was down to a little shadow on the sides as was Charlie “Sludge” Versaggi.

      
Now       Then              Now       Then

But is was Johnny “Pung” Rugh who lit up the victory cigar. “I don’t know that guy Sludge, but hair or no hair I still think  McCaslin’s a bigger asshole than me.”

"Who's The Bigger Asshole Baby?"

Connie,

You may be too late. I just heard they have already found their man. He looks the part, and now they are working on some speech therapy to help correct his very raspy voice. Send me your recommendation just in case things don’t work out with the new guy.

       
 Old Face      New Voice

Buffy,

You should be a little more careful what you say, I hear time has not been exactly kind to you. Regardless, I was able to get a look at the re-do of this now land mark photo. A couple of scumbags who were supposed to show did not. But with the miracle of technology, we were able to bring them all together again. After seeing the 2002 edition, one can only say that not all memories are good ones.

No Thanks For The Memories

Lowell,

Y’all know it was going to be a real tough battle with so many perverts entered into the contest. When it got down to the final scoring, the judges were looking for originality, poise and congeniality. Dale “Too Fat” Jones waited until all others had their way with the pig before ripping the head off the carcass, grabbing it by the ears and getting orally pleasured while screaming, “Squeal like a pig!” He sealed the victory by kissing the pig on the lips. Now that’s congeniality!

Mr. Congeniality?

Allen,

Since his recent divorce and return to the Hog circuit, scandal has been Judge Jimmy’s middle name.

     
Hands Always In The Wrong Place

This time there were reports that the Judge had been caught in a drug scandal. Several disgruntled Hogs reported that the judge was bogarting dubes. “I filed charges!”, screamed Tom “Zip” Sommers. “No one else could catch a buzz after he sucked that dube down to a nub.” Jimmy defended his actions as perfectly legal since he was, “Merely looking out for my own buzz.” Jimmy has asked that all Hogs hold their judgment until he has had time to give himself a fair hearing.

Scandal Is His Middle Name

Metz

Metz,

Dirt has long thrilled his fans with famous songs and lyrics like “I want to stick it in your ear”. During the dying days of his now defunct bar The Flying Machine, the big boy got desperate to bring in customers. He stooped so low he even tried a country & western theme and briefly lead a band called Howdy Dirty & The Buffalo Bobs. The Flying Machine and his C&W singing career both crash landed a few days later.

Howdy Dirty

Sludge

Sludge,

You must be referring to the Powelton Village Idiot, Charlie Bolton. The Theta Chi’s found him wandering on 34th Street one day with his alleged mother, Duck Lady.  A few of the brothers gave him a beer to see if he would fall over like a drunken dog.  Before they knew it, the son-of-a-bitch wouldn’t go away.  After a while people actual thought he was one of the brothers.  He still wanders the area looking for a freebie, with that same stupid look on his face.

Powelton Village Idiot Then & Now

Ilan

Ilan,

Although I always have a tough time telling those swarthy skinned types apart, I do know that Flea is Jewish. The confusion of his ethnicity started a number of years ago shortly after a group of Palestinians formed Hamas. Flea thought they were calling themselves Hummus.

Terrorist Eater?

Never one to pass up a free meal, he threw on one of their headbands, grabbed some pita bread and headed off to meet their leader. Flea introduced himself as Stomacha Lotsafat. When asked if he wanted to join, he said, “Yes Sir.” The new leader, Yassir, thought Flea knew him personally and welcomed him into his group.

Lotsafat & Arafat

He was quickly sent away after eating enough food to feed the entire PLO Army for a year. Yassir got scared that Flea was a terrorist eater who had been sent by the Israelis to eat until he exploded.

Get Out

That is the source of the rumor. You should be on the lookout for a known terrorist called Mohammed Macos. The former Oil Minister of Sherwood has been known to destroy property with vomit and bodily fluids.

Mohammed Macos