Dear Webmaster,

What's the deal with the new Hog Rock Cafe link "Areno's Alley".  Is it a parody of Areno's "The Man, The Legend" golf game, or lack thereof?  I clicked and sure enough, all you get is a picture of Areno grinning from ear to ear like the cat that ate the golf ball. Or was it the golf ball that almost decapitated the cat?

The Man, The Legend
Areno

Areno does deserve an "alley" on Hog Rock Cafe, but not for his witty letters.  Instead, he deserves to be there for his infamous, inadvertent attack on a defenseless cat.  As one of only three living witnesses, I can only attest to what I saw.  Areno doesn't count as a witness because he was looking down the fairway like he could actually hit a drive with any distance or semblance of accuracy.

It was at the 1986 Hogs Open on the Pothouse Road hole of the storied Meadowbrook links. Well named, it was usually the hole where scores were first checked during a round on the fabled links.

Meadowbrook's Pothouse Road Hole

Sitting in the bushes, minding his own business was a defenseless black cat. Probably wondering what these two-leggers with metal sticks were doing. I'm sure he felt perfectly safe, positioned at a 60 degree angle and 20-30 yards from the tee box where Number 14 was taking his abbreviated backswings. Well that miscalculation cost Mr. Cat one of his nine lives when Areno unloaded one of his patented "Power Alley" swings.

Power Alley Specialist
With Legendary Orange Ball

That ball must have bounced 6-8 times in the seconds, or was it minutes, it traveled from the heel of the storied single-hitter's driver. How the stupid cat didn't see an orange ball bouncing straight at him is one of the great mysteries of our time because it sure as hell wasn't traveling that fast.  The ball hit the cat right in the head, just above the cat's left eye.

Fated Feline

With bells ringing and seeing stars in the daytime, the fated feline staggered off as Macos, Eggy and I laughed till we cried.

Still Laughing After All These Years

Areno was pissed he didn't get a better bounce as the ball headed across Pothouse Road. He tried to invoke a Mulligan rule for Animal Interference but was denied.

Hence was another chapter was added to the legend. The "Areno Power Alley" became the standard for weak, dribbling grounders in sports everywhere.

I'm sure Areno will deny the facts and try to change topics to the time he threw a golf ball at someone and two hopped it in the hole for a self-proclaimed Eagle. Loss of memory is common in Senile Citizens like Areno.

Bolts
"Eyewitness to History"

Bolts,

Good Stuff !!   I had just e-mailed Macos about submitting my side of the fabled "alley" origin but you beat me to it.  Perhaps in the near future, I'll correct your interpretation of that day's events with a truthful recollection and make it a permanent part of the new link. By the way, if you click on 'Areno's Alley' link, you can relive that glorious day when Areno made his Eagle.   I believe 'The Eagle Ball'  is one of the major draws and most widely visited displays over at the Hog Rock Cafe.

Areno's Eagle Ball Display
at the Hog Rock Cafe

Its picture has made numerous Hog Rock News Issues and other Hog publications. Oh, I'm sorry, did I change the subject?

Later,  Areno