BOOZE'S TOP TEN LIST
Top Ten Reasons Why
Jammer Had a Heart Attack

By Spirits Correspondent Booze

10.  Favorite exercise machine is a remote control.

Jammer Working Out With
His Favorite Exercise Machine

9.   Thinks a good workout consists of eating potato chips and cooling down with a six pack.

Jammer's Other Workout Technique

8.   His health plan is Domino’s Personal Choice.

Jammer's Personal Choice

7.   When sick, his remedy of “Feed a cold, feed a fever” is no better than applying leeches.

Equally Ineffective Remedies

6.   His favorite sport is Sumo wrestling.

Sumo Jammer

5.  The guilt of stealing so many Belts weighed heavily on his heavy chest.

 
Belt Thief

4.  He thought that cholesterol was an aphrodisiac.

3.  He refused to take Lipidor or Zocor because he thought they were appetite suppressants.

Appetite Suppressants

2.  Instead of a Booze's medically-endorsed At Least One Drink A-Day Plan, Jammer chose his
      patented 30 Meals A-Day Plan.

Patented Heart-Unhealthy Plan

And the NUMBER ONE reason why Jammer had a heart attack is:

1.  He thought he would finally be voted Hog of the Year.

2002 Hog of the Year
Not Jammer