Give It A Lick
Hog Rock Spirits Correspondent
March 30, 2004
PAOLI, PA -- It was reported that Dick “Give it a Lick” DeCoux underwent a surgical procedure today. Dick reportedly felt some pain and throbbing while exercising, and found it hard getting up in the morning. As a precaution, Dick took matters in hand and decided to get checked. After an evaluation, it was recommended that he undergo an angioplasty. Dick expressed alarm when they initially made the incision in his manhood rather than his thigh, although he realized how easy it was for the surgeon to mistake it for his thigh. Dick’s recovery is surging ahead of schedule. He is expected to make a full blown recovery shortly.
Although Dick has shunned the Jammer classic diet, his healthy ways, exercise, and low cholesterol obviously are not effective in preventing blockage. Dick is presently considering the Booze high carb, high alcohol diet. According to Dick, “I’d rather gain a few pounds and have Doogie make fun of my breasts rather than go through that again.”
Switching to Booze's
High Alcohol Diet
Dick feels so good that he may make a comeback on the softball team this year.