Home Up Will Be Nailed Hog Rock Shut Down Dick Trouble Dick Has Arisen Belt's A Sham Again Lost Pingy Found Lost Pingy-The Real Story Club Abuse McGreevey Top Ten List Pingy's Perpetrator Natural Born Killer Man on a Missiion Utterly Stupefied Year of The Bitty Boozus

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Lost Pingy Found
"A Gift From The Gods"


Pingy Owner

New Port Richey, Florida, July 24, 2004 PGA Officials announced today that the long-lost PING 4-Iron known as Pingy, has been safely recovered from the forests of South Carolina.  The missing club is being flown by military escort today back to its home in New Port Richey, Florida.


Military Escort For Pingy            

It was a hot and humid day at “The Witch” on September 29, 2003, when officials told Pingy’s owner, Eddie Money, to go home and wait for news of the missing club.


Famous Site of Missing Pingy

In the early hours after the incident, dozens of greens keepers, snack bar waiters, crossing guard volunteers, and local officials mounted a massive search for Pingy. “The weather could have been a factor,” reported Billy Bob Catfish, Head Greens Keeper at The Witch, regarding the manner in which Pingy had suddenly taken flight off the 10th tee earlier that morning.


Pingy Took Flight

Others suggested that the club may have been a victim of abuse, and that Eddie Money should have known that the possibility of warn grips could have lead to such a tragic event.


Club Abuser

Local officials reported that several members of a pathetic group of under achievers from the Philadelphia, PA area, known only as The Hogs, were witness to the incident and were questioned at the scene. Calabash Reclamation & Mixer Commissioner, Tom Collins, said that the Hogs had been invited guests at the “Catch a Special Thrill” program, which opens the door to underprivileged and disorderly Americans. A spokesperson for the group, who went only by the name of “Booze”, declined comment, but passed out “Expert Witness” name badges to fellow members.


Hogs Spokesperson

Speaking from Washington, Secretary of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge, announced that new security measures are being implemented across the United States providing for tighter security and increased safety for golf clubs. “We’ve become very attached to our clubs, and this clearly illustrates my point that a roll of duct tape can be damn handy on occasion", said Ridge.


Duct Tape Advocate

Residents of New Port Richey were lining up today to welcome Pingy home. “It would not surprise me that this would be even bigger then the Lightening winning the Stanley Cup”, said club owner Eddie Money.  "Having Pingy back truly is A Gift From The Gods".


Joyous Pingy Owner

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Home Up Will Be Nailed Hog Rock Shut Down Dick Trouble Dick Has Arisen Belt's A Sham Again Lost Pingy Found Lost Pingy-The Real Story Club Abuse McGreevey Top Ten List Pingy's Perpetrator Natural Born Killer Man on a Missiion Utterly Stupefied Year of The Bitty Boozus