Slobodan Won't Be Attending
|Hog paybacks are a bitch and|
|if you're not there you won't get kissed ... but then again you won't be missed,|
she had one couple move their wedding up a week to June 15 and had the other couple (who had already, among other things, booked a hall) cancel that and have a smaller and more private wedding and party in July when we would be back again.
With that established, the next issue to be addressed is that of Titles. Presuming that, while I will be again participating in that typical Friday afternoon challenge to my manhood and while someone may have sneaked a peek at my long "driver", your reference to my "longest length (I mean... distance) title" is related to how far we have come(d) (and yes that is far!), a Title is nice but, as Marilyn Monroe used to say, Prizes are nicer.
As we will both be coming the same distance, a Pair of Prizes would be appropriate. In Hog-legend land I can remember several Pairs of Prizes ( i.e Big Mary's or Bethanne's) that I (on behalf of Marianne and I) would be happy to accept.
Pairs of Prizes
Hog of the Millennium Trophy
Further documenting my life-long Hog-manship, if the current hogs (not sure if they merit being called "Hogs") have gotten to or are within a sniff of the playoffs when I am in the good old U.S. of A. in June and then again in July, I'm willing to put my career pitching and batting records on the line:
|Lifetime pitching winning percentage!|
|The only Hog to retire having hit safely the last three times!!|
|The only Hog to have hit safely in his last three at bats in the playoffs!!!|
|As well as highest lifetime playoff batting average!!!!|
Yes, I'm willing to put all those records at risk to show that I am the All-Time Hog MVP when you correct for the self-centered attitudes and performances of those self proclaimed, egotistical Hogs named Zip, Areno and Macos, and the biased and self-serving scoring decisions and rules that they have propagated.
Self-Proclaimed, Egotistical Hogs
It is time for the real little people (me and that Jammer guy)
Real Little People
and other Hog mainstays (Pung and Eggie, as well as the lovable but bumbling Booze and Maco, and that Japanese guy Dick Who)
Lovable But Bumbling Hog Mainstays
behind the Hogs to get the recognition for that what we've done to put P'ville and The Stables on the map.