More Dick

Subj: Speaking of Assholes, the Next Chapter
Date: 11/13/01 8:34:14 PM
From: rdec@concentric.net (Dick DeCoux)
To: TomSommers@aol.com (Sommers, Tom Zip)

Dear Webmaster Zip:

I read with mild amusement the Doc's reply, or should I say rant, to the failure to recognize my Hoggeritis contribution for the quality journalism it is. I suppose it was that mild swipe I took at he and Macos in my response to a gross injustice.

All Universe Asshole

It appears that caused him to miss his medication regime and carom off into his fantasy world where everyone on the planet has high praise for him and does not think he is an All Universe Asshole. I mean, I realize that the visitors to this site will believe almost everything they read. But for the love of god, who in their right fucking mind would believe any of the loopy testimonials that the Doogster stuffed into that non-stop pat myself on the backathon.

While I was actually glad to see that Dr. Dan was back in the writing game, I'm not so sure I would headline his effort as getting back in the saddle so much as I would call it falling off the rocker. Has the doc decided to take up psychiatry? (Why not enter a field where the inmates run the asylum.) If he has, then he should be his first patient. I say this because he obviously is having trouble distinguishing the clear logic of a well written letter to the editor from WHINING.

Whining is when some asshole doctor complains that he can barely scam enough money out of an HMO to pay for his frigging four bedroom condo in Avalon, or Cancun, or Belize or wherever those assholes have condo's. However, in the end, I'd rather be a Whining Frog than the delusional descendant of an ancestry so bland (Sommers, is that English?) as to be pretty much indistinguishable from driftwood.

You know how I hate to cast aspersions, but the great mass of white bread and sausage eating, rum swilling, belly-over-the-belt troglodytes Dr. Doogie probably calls a lineage doubtless made their way to our fair shores on some vessel where they were so busy corn holing one another they never even saw the Statute of Liberty, never mind knew she was a woman. Not that they would have cared. What is there to say about a race who can get randy over rum, a peach-cheeked boy, and nice lashing on the behind with a willow branch?

So let me conclude by stating that while I have the greatest respect for his writing skills, my suggestion is that the good doctor try to focus his rants, versus trying to unload all that bullshit and vitriol in one fell swoop.

Best regards to one and all,

Dick, give it a lick, DeCoux