Subj: Speaking of Assholes, What About Hoggeritis?
Date: 10/20/01 12:01:33 AM
From: rdec@concentric.net (Dick DeCoux)
To: TomSommers@aol.com (Sommers, Tom Zip)

Dear Webmaster Zip:

During some mental downtime, I happened to open the recent e-mails that both you and Macos sent. I was impressed with Dennis Anzio's command of the keyboard, not to mention his ability to fabricate fact, events and time to unseat his own brother from that always slippery throne of King of the Assholes.

                           
       Unseated by his Brother                  The New Asshole King           

I have a response to that debate and will forwarded it to all the recipients of the most recent mailings. However, seeing that drivel reminded me how highly irate I was, and continue to be, over the April 2001 missive that you scurrilously passed off as Web Wars of the New Millennium. This being an old wound you may think it small of me to bring it up. However, seeing how eloquently, in a totally misguided sense, Messr. Anzio attacked his own flesh and blood I was spurred to finally get the whole Web Wars of the New Millennium issue off my chest.

Brain Dead Drivel

You can imagine how anxiously I awaited that publication. Yet, upon receipt, I found it had failed to even remotely mention the only intelligent exchange that the Hogs ever had on the web site. That, of course, was the Great Hoggeritis Debate.

Even Bigger Asshole

 
Than These Two Assholes 

I have to assume this classic was omitted either because you are an even bigger asshole than the sites primary contributors, (Macos and your brother Dan), or you were simply afraid of taxing the gray matter of the mostly brain dead readers of this crap. I hereby protest that grievous oversight and just want you to know how totally pissed off I was when Hoggeritis received not even the simplest nod when the alleged best of the Web bullshit was released.

Totally Pissed Off

You cannot begin to imagine the disappointment I experienced when the Hoggeritis debate, and my substantial contribution to it, was overlooked. How disappointed you ask? Well lets just say that I may not have felt quite as low as your mom may have felt when Dr. Dan was expelled from that mix of amniotic fluid and Chardonnay he must have sloshed around in for nine or ten months.

Chardonnay Slosher

Nor perhaps was I as bummed as Macos' mom may have felt when that leering lump was delivered, doubtless taking pictures on the way with that digital camera that was probably concealed up his butt.

Digital Butt Photographer

Still, I felt pretty bad. So bad in fact that it has taken me low these many months to finally get the negative feelings off my chest.

I fully anticipate this oversight will be rectified in the near future and never repeated. For those who wonder why it took so long for me to communicate my ire, perhaps it is that I have been too nice a guy. Maybe I need to take a page out of the Denny Anzio book of Assaholics and get down and dirty with my feelings. In any case, let me conclude by stating that you have not heard the last of DICK so stay tuned.

More Dick to Come!

Best regards,

Dick (Give it a Lick) DeCoux