Dear Hogs,

 

I have been in the background much too long observing the "Biggest Asshole" debate.  My experience is limited only to the Hogs I have had the opportunity to bless with my presence in Myrtle Beach.  Therefore, I must target only these "gentlemen".  I can only assume that those of you who do not attend the annual "golf" trip are intelligent, well-adjusted individuals.  You must be because you are intelligent enough not to associate with these ASSHOLES. Yes, all of you that attend the trip are assholes.  One of you is as big as the other!!!

I only attend this function to gather information for the book that I am working on, "Assholes of the World".  My hope was to gather enough information to complete my book in one or two trips.  However, once I arrive at Myrtle, I can't believe I am associating with such flaming anal orifices and I begin to drink.  Well, I drink and drink some more.  Since this is the only time I indulge in spirits throughout the year, I black out and can't remember anything except I've been surrounded by assholes.

Researching New Book
"Flaming Anal Orifices"

I have contemplated seeking another group of assholes to study, but I know this has to be the largest and best assembly of assholes this side of the Taliban.  Additionally, it was and still is my hope that some of my class and sophistication would rub off on at least one of you.  If I could only help one flamer, I feel I would have made a positive contribution to society.  I'm beginning to think that not even I can help any of you.  The good thing for all of you is that you enjoy the little world you live in.  I guess it is true that ignorance is bliss.  Since none of you can relate to the real world, you are happy.  Therefore, I am happy for you.

What is the bottom line in all of this?  Yes, Tom "Chairman of the Board" Anzio, "Real Deal" Anzio, Jackass Glammer, Zip, Mr. Sassy, and Macos are all assholes.

The Taliban's Got Nothing On These Assholes

Don't dismay, the rest of you are just as big an asshole as these low life's.  I suggest that there is no "Biggest Asshole."

It's a Tie!  You ALL should have this distinction and all should where the crown.

 

Big Bitty

 

PS. 

   Maggie, I'll keep those mean people from picking on your daddy.

Bitty Will Protect Your Daddy 

PPS.

    Could Hank and Dale have seen the light and be attempting to find a normal life outside assholedom since they weren't at Myrtle this year or perhaps the has Crown Royal taken its toll?

Saw the Light or
Saw the Crown Royal?